Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Ignorance Carol

Have you ever read about a place or time and thought " holy shit what teeny tiny, over rated, under appreciated life I have made for myself"? This happens a lot to me while reading or seeing old images on televsion or in books. I always think what little experience, culture or understanding of what actually went on to get to this time and this place. I think about how people in this day and age live in war zones, under dictators in poverty and I am here with my heated house and car, $1 Whopper,my over priced Red Sox tickets and my inner debate if I need a 42" TV with an HDDVR . I pretty much don't know shit.
I know I don't have a Deloreon or a phone booth with George Carlin and will not have the opportunity to time travel. But I may be able to summon in my dreams the ghost of reality past. I am not talking about Eric Nies, Pedro Zamura, Rufus, Richard Hatch, I mean actual reality. Maybe the ghost summons me, I am not sure how it works.
I just want to peak in on what was really going down during segregation, slavery, war, drug culture. I wonder if people in the deep south really would kill Jack Nicholson for hanging out with hippies jut cause they looked different. How strange was the Haight-Ashbury scene in the late 60's? What was going on in Nazi Germany. Did the Germans really not know what was going on or are they just really good at keeping a secret? How did the slave trade work? Was it like a flea market but with people. I wonder if one of the slave traders was trying to catch a prospect and thought to himself "he would a great tailback if the SEC ever de-segrated; and we can get him on that boat". Books only tell you so much, you know.
Maybe I could peak on my parents when they were younger I know my dad was getting into some shit, but I don't think I would be that interested in my mom's doing, for Marty McFly reasons. Wouldn't you like to watch George Bush get destroyed in a debate at Yale? I bet his professor said "son, you better be agile because I am going to throw something at you soon if you don't get to your point." and how that was the only thing he learned at Yale that he used in his presidency.
Anyways this was supposed to be serious, but this is the stuff that pops in my head when I am reading or watching TV. I think that why it takes me forever to read anything. This sure seems to have gone in a different direction. I guess I am going to have remain ignorant. But it's 3:30 Am now and I going to bed maybe I will have visitor

These Go to Eleven

Sorry I have been otherwise occupied with my time, but since I have to work in a few hours and can't sleep, I am going to try an impromptu 11

1. My favorite part of The Hamas/ Israel thing is when there is a picture of some "random guy" throwing small rocks at people launching rockets. It is truly a sign of sophistication. ( I am aware there is no actually good from it but hey at least we only get one attack every fifty years or so over here. How would I know what it's like to live with an RPG up my ass? )

2. Laura Bush called the "shoe throwing incident" an assault. If throwing a shoe at a guy is an assault, what is invading a country on falsified intelligence?

3. Kurt Russel's eye make-up in "Big Trouble in Little China" is unmatched. Plus, surprisingly I didn't notice an ounce of racism in that movie when I re-watched it last weekend.

4. Robert Downey Jr. deserves some sort of honor for his role in "Tropic Thunder". I think they ( whoever they are is, I don't know) should start a whole new awards show based around giving him an award every year for being extremely under-rated. It could be retroactive to "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang"

5. Two other people and I have had dreams about our old paper routes, often. Is that weird? Is it because that we three did them together at some point or is it a coincidence or does this happen to all ex-paper boys and girls.

6. Rock Band is better than Guitar Hero. I suck at both so my opinion is irrelevant.

7. I hate Brett Farce but I hope he doesn't retire because the Jets will be that much worse next December. However, I hope he does not string it out in typical Brett Farce fashion. In NY he is an average size fish in a really big pond; unlike stupid Green Bay where he is a big fish in a pint glass of Miller High Life. SUCK IT FAAAAvra nobody cares about you OLd News.

8. I love how Harvard educated. grown-up in politics, charity working ( by choice), author, all around swell Caroline Kennedy -S...berg is not qualified to be a US Senator according to people with far more education and polish and class. Oooops I meant unqualified to clean a monkey's shit pit, arse-holes who are too full of themselves to actually shut up for two seconds and maybe listen to what all these dumb Ivy League grads have to say. Not to mention it is very temporary and she would have to "earn it" by running in a year or two anyway. What are they supposed to do auction the seat off? Maybe they could just give it to a republican; they have always had great support in the Red state that is New York. I hope Gov. Patterson sees it my way.

9. Eddie House has no business taking a game tieing three ice cold off the bench when PP is red hot and Ray is Ray....
This had nothing to do with the out come of the game but there is just no way the refs should allow a team 6 guys on the court . It is the simplest part of their job (other than when they let Kobe, LeBron and Jordan get away with anything). They should be fined at the very least for that utter ridiculous error (plus how do 3 of them miss that?). If only Tommy still did road games.

10. ( I am cheating now ) LOOKING FOR PHISH IN HAMPTON TICKETS I WILL TAKE ANYTHING AT THIS POINT!!!!!

11. I got a book from bree-ji-na on how to use comas and other punctuation. so, maybe, in the future, I will, be able to use; proper grammatical type things...!!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Santa flew over the cuckoos nest




Santa Claus has multiple personality disorder. It's a fact, according to wikipedia and google the man known as Santa Claus has three separate distinctly different "personas" . Santa ,Kris Kringle and St, Nicholas. Be careful who you let your kids get there picture with at the mall.
First Santa Claus: Santa Claus is a married gentleman. He is quite rotund, red cheeks, wears a red suit. He flies in a sleigh with reindeer. He is from the North Pole, but he is Hollywood. Quite the celebrity Santa does mall tours. He is the the Britney Spears of Christmas. Some claim he has "sold Christmas out", commercialized it. He is the demon of the hard core religious. Single handedly is killing Christmas.
Others claim him to be a jolly fat man, spreading christmas cheer. I think this Christmas icon means well, but some serious folks blame him for things that are out his control. His alter ego Kris Kringle though....><
Kris Kringle: is a Nazi he is of German upbringing. In his "native tongue he is called Christkind. He is cherubic, with wings, blond hair, probably blue eyes. During the 30's and early 40's after Goerbles and Gehringh he was right there with Hitler. Sure he looks innocent ( in his own mind) but do we really trust the Germans yet? Plus he is self hating, he can't stand Santa or St. NIck.

Finally St Nicholas according to the report is Turkish. He originally gifted three young girls with a dowry so they would not be prostitutes. He is a reverse pimp sort of. He also is the patron saint of shipwrecked or drowning mariners. That is a strange combination, right? He truly hates Santa, even more than the Nazi. He is not very "jolly" looking though similar to "Santa". To me he kind of looks like the neighbor in Home Alone.> So if you happen to come across Father Christmas this holiday season. Make sure he is jolly and HOHOHOing. Make sure he doesn't click his boot heels, and doesn't drag ice melt in garbage pale and isn't trying to get whores off the street. If he is doing any of the last three things. Go to a different mall.

Consider the Source

Something occurred to me while "surfing the web" earlier. I don't always put what I am reading, watching or listening to in the correct perspective. Perhaps you are very aware of this and I am a dope. But, I am willing to bet that because of repetition, or rushing through life or some other small reason you just kind of forget sometimes.
With all the news channels, the vastness of the internet (inter- tubes) or barrage of talk radio it is quite easy to get facts, opinions, here-say, and out right stupidity easily mixed up if you aren't paying close enough attention. Especially with the internet, jumping from link to link you are so far removed from what you are actually putting in your head you may not even notice what you are reading is just some dope's obscure, uninformed,biased or ignorant opinion. Now, it may not be, it may in fact be true straight down the last letter.
How to tell what's what, I can't tell you. Today while reading something, I was exasperated, stopped and thought "Is this a joke?" Why I am getting so upset about this? I know nothing about the person who wrote this article or the slant of the on-line newspaper it came from. Maybe this is the Howie Carr of Tampa. I just clicked a link and there I was taking in "information" from a source I knew absolutely nothing about. Good thing I didn't call up talk radio and repeat it as fact. Who knows how bad I would have butchered the dumb columnists opinion. Or was it a a report, ah jees I just don't know.
I have written in the past of the difference between "the news" and "news channels". Pundits, People of opinion on television very rarely state all the facts. The give excerpts of situations to prove they are right when there is not necessarily a right or wrong. Being ruder or yelling louder does not make up for lack of substance. Abusing a counterpart on TV does not make you right, it doesn't make you wrong. It just makes those that are watching believe what the louder person is saying seem a little more factual. Which is tricky. A good rule to follows is if you are conservative; liberal pundits are whiny, morons. If you're a liberal, conservative pundits are @$$100%$. Then disregard everything you have just heard, DO NOT REPEAT IT.
Back as a younger fellow I recall playing this outrageous game TELEPHONE. TELEPHONE is played by whispering something to the person next to you, that person whispers to the person next to them, and they pass it along in the same manner. The thing is it can't be repeated, so once it finally gets to the last person they say out loud what they think they heard. Nine times out of ten or more the original phrase is no wheres close to being what the first person had said. Awesome game, right? ( it actually was once in a while, really) Anyway, the "TELEPHONE" principle applies to talk radio because people are dumb and take what they hear as fact . They need to sound smart so they call up a talk show, WRITE IT IN THEIR BLOG or add a comment at the end of an article as if what they read earlier, remembered 40% of is in fact one the great truths of this world.
Later on I was reading ESPN.com and an article there had something about the government can be a charitable write off and how it affects your tax return. I was taking it seriously for a moment and all of a sudden I was all "why would I take tax info from ESPN"? Seriously, I would not be surprised ( especially considering the audience) if some meat head goes out this weekend and shares his superior ESPN.com education with his pals. When Opie and Anthony got fired way back when for the "mayor prank" ( they had announced on Aprils Fool's Day that the mayor of Boston had died in car crash in Florida) I recall Anthony saying at some point afterwards " You don't go to CNN for dick jokes; don't come to Opie and Anthony for breaking news". Although he is a Nazi sympathiser he was actually right about that. If you a reading a blog it's here-say. If you are listening to talk radio that person might not even have a job. Don't confuse columnists opinions with newspaper reports. The comments section of on -line article is only there for you to see how stupid some people actually are.
If I were to write an entry on Santa Claus suffering from multiple personalities, would you take as fact? I hope so.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The drive thru and proper drive thru procedure

The point of the drive thru is to get what you need quickly. If everything goes perfectly it should take just a few minutes.
Unless of course it's a 24 hour drive thru and everyone is hammered and there are a ton of people in line. Then and only then is it acceptable to wait fifteen minutes.
I am sure I could have gone in this morning to get my coffee. Yet I decided to try the drive thru line because there were only six cars in line, stupid me. Half an hour later I was still waiting but because of the way the line is designed, I am now trapped in line. So I decided to put on Christmas music and tried to avoid road rage while for intents and purposes being parked. What do we do about this? I shouldn't have to go in, I have a small order specifically designed for the drive thru, get in, get out!
If you have anything more than a coffee and either muffin, bagel or donut go inside. You are slowing down this beautiful idea. The drive thru is essentially communism, a great idea that can't work out because certain people don't use it properly. If you have to have a breakfast sandwich go inside and wait in line you clearly don't care how long it takes. Don't hold up people with things to do and places to see.
Some of the worst people on Earth are the people who give a laundry list of sandwiches, nuggets, cokes, diet cokes, substitutions,etc, etc. Honestly are you that much of dick head that you won't bring your army of shit machines into BK? Then after the staff cooks dinner in 12 minutes for gaggle of nose pickers while you sit in your SUV you have the nerve to complain and hold the line up further. How is that the rest of our fault, that you can't get these ass hole kids to behave inside a shitty restaurant? Maybe close your legs if you can't handle it properly, all I want is a fucken Double Cheese burger and a Coke.
If you have more than one kid with you, you are not doing anything quickly, fast food does not apply to you. You have to suck it up and put on your parent hat and go inside and let us movers and shaker get what we need and fast. We don't have any anchors slowing us down. We don't need yours slowing us down too.
So just to review:
1. No more than 2 to 3 items at a time in the drive thru (unless it' after last call)

2. If you need to be a douche and complain about fast food. GO INSIDE.

3. Bring your shit machines inside, all the germs in there are probably good for them and it is a nice exercise in parenting. Fast food does not apply to you.

4. Use common sense and decency. The people working these lines probably aren't Rhode's Scholars, make things as easy for them as possible. Do Not complain about a 99 cent cheeseburger, it is 99 cents. If allergies are involved explain it nicely inside, don't blame the employees because you are five minutes behind, they didn't shit in your kids pants your kid did.

5. Have your money ready, pay attention to the cars in front of you, don't over react to a love tap. 0 miles an hours is at most trading some paint.

6. I think that is it. But I reserve the right to edit.

Sorry if you think the drive thru exists for you to not have to shuffle your kids in it out of places, it doesn't. It is for us non-breeding, important people, I am pretty sure it is in The Constitution.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Searching for The CHRISTMAS Spirit

Right now the weather is cold, but there is no snow. There seems to be fewer Christmas decorations in yards about town. I have had a decent year for sure, I have a wonderful, beautiful, sweet wife, great sisters and an incredible mother. My friends are some the funniest people on Earth, not to mention genuinely decent citizens. I for some reason though am missing the "Christmas Spirit". I realized this Sunday night during "Black Nativity" ( also, I don't like gospel music). While there I got a little fed up with the birth of Jesus scene. Not because of the scene itself, but I just had some stale feelings about Jesus' relevance to the whole thing. Which is kind of messed up.
In thinking about this the last few days I also realized for the first in a while , I actually care about Christmas. Not the the traditional Jesus' birthday Christmas. Certainly not the commercialism. I want Christmas to mean something more to me than getting stuff from people or crashing through a store to buy something I could live with out. I truly love the idea of "Christmas Spirit", what it can be, what it should be, not what it has become.
This Christmas for me is going to be about being with friends and family. Spending time with the people I enjoy most, celebrating all the good things I have in my life. I really would like no gifts. I want anyone that had planned to spend any money on me to donate it. There is nothing that would make me happier this year than getting nothing and " in the spirit of Christmas" giving those less fortunate something to make there life just a little better.
I assume from checking my sitemeter that most everyone who reads this is in their post-college twenties to early thirties. I am going to also assume that most of you are struggling these days, unsure of what the future will bring. Just getting by, starting a family or still trying to find out what your next move will be in this strange and difficult time. I am going to ask you now in "the Spirit of Christmas" to do something.
If you find yourself in a conversation with a friend or family member and they ask you what you want for Christmas and an answer does not immediately come to you, think of someone else. Now I am not talking about not getting anything. I don't mean you miss out on something you really, truly need. I am saying if this person is someone who gets you something "small" every year and you generally never use what they get you. Request they do something for those who have even less than we do, who may not have ever had even a decent Christmas.
Think of it this way: do you really need another sweater you won't wear, 100th pair of wool socks, or some DVD or video game? Would you really cherish these items more than a kid getting a hot meal or decent sweat shirt or a new toy? Do you really need a gift certificate to a store you never go to, more than a children's charity needs any amount of money to help them? Will you really be happier this year with aunt Charlene's 12th year in a row of Christmas slippers? Just think if times are hard on you, how much harder they are those that are sick or have never had the opportunities we have had.
This also solves a couple of issues in regards to getting something you don't want or asking for something you don't need. That uncomfortable feeling of being the ungrateful Christmas giftee is eliminated. You won't have to thank someone for the "lovely bedazzled sweatshirt" falsely. You don't have to rolodex through things that you might have wanted at some point if someone asks, but you really don't need or you would have had it all ready.
To be honest I don't expect anyone to do this. I could just be depressed about work, the cold weather or maybe alcohol is really a depressant. It might be I'm bummed out that Christmas has turned into a time of year when instead of celebrating everything great we have, we trample someone to death to save a few bucks. So I am just writing this because I have been sad about Christmas this year. I have been thinking about what Christmas is supposed to be and as corny as this whole thing may seem. I think this is what will make Christmas just a little bit happier, at least for me. I would hate to speak for Jesus because I am sure he is being sick of mis-represented, but I bet he wouldn't mind if you and I thought of some one less fortunate this and future Christmases.

( I will not to be this sappy very often, but I am thankful for this blog and this opportunity to ask this of all (five) of you. Hopefully this is out of my system and I can be funny again, HAPPY HOLIDAYS)

Friday, December 5, 2008

The prodigal industry

For a little bit of time now I have been warming up to the idea of of socialism instead of capitalism, but am realistic enough to see the flaws in both. Just like everything else, once human's natural imperfections are factored into the equation we are setting ourselves up for disaster. Perhaps not today or this decade or one hundred years, but eventually some failure comes with everything we do. I wish the best to the people of Michigan and the auto workers of America but we've leapt blindly with bare feet all ready onto a slippery slope with the 750 billion dollar bailout for the banking mortgage, executive vacation crisis and we have to put our foot down collectively.
Now, the auto industry wants their piece of our pie. I like the idea of helping our fellow countrymen out. I just see no reason to right now. Everyday you and I drive past, run by, see on the train thousands of car dealership and hundreds of thousands of un-used cars. New ones, used ones, new to you, what ever you want to call them they are there sitting in huge lots where a forest or field or garden once was.
What do they do with all these cars? I know they don't sell all them. If they did they probably wouldn't need any bail out money. They have mega year end sales, but they can't be that much help, because I have never gotten anything but screwed by a car dealer and know few who gotten "a deal" Why y not let them try and sell the cars they have. They are the ones who thought 200,000,000 Americans need a brand new car every year.
I googled what happens to these cars and to be honest I didn't find any good reason they shouldn't be forced to sell all the ones they have all ready over produced. They send some to movies to be blown up, which is no longer necessary with awful CGI. They send some to auctions, or to businesses to shuttle executives around. Some allege sneaky business of changing vin numbers and paneling and call them the next year's model ( that's ALLEGED). Then they "donate" some and use their foolish over production/ spending as a write-off. Because when you make a mistake if you donate it somewhere else it's like it never happened, oh well.
Even still it seems there are thousands "extra" cars out there for sale. Why not hold up production on new cars until all of these other cars are spoken for. I am no genius but 2007 over production + 2008 over production= 4015 overproduction. Over production + under selling= Losing tons of money. That looks right but maybe I am missing something.
Yes that will cost some Michigan natives jobs, but there are other industries. The rest of the country has managed to find jobs in other industries. It is not like making cars is as important farming, banking, clean air and the NFL. The auto industry needs rehab and not just AA it needs full 28 days , white room rehab.
Say you have a kid and that kid is a total dead beat, junkie. He comes to you and says "I need five grand to go to rehab and get fixed up." You have the five grand tucked away, do you just give it to this dumb junkie and let him walk out the door and go to rehab on his own accord? No you don't, unless you are a complete idiot. You would most likely either bring the kid to "rehab" yourself and pay for it yourself and let it be known that this behavior will no longer be tolerated. You will pay for it but with some sort of strict guidelines. Or you just straight up say no.
We have all ready been fleeced with the banking, AIG, Goldman Sachs, executive bonus, mortgage, whatever you want to call it bail out. They have taken their "rehab" check, walked out the door straight to the drug dealer and bought a pile of the finest China. Just in time for a big ass Christmas party. Are we going to enable another industry to walk in and do the same exact thing? The average American hasn't been helped. We don't get to go to spas or golfing and we don't get much help when something catastrophic, unplanned, and unavoidable happens. These executives screwed up, they have let their arrogance and greed put them in a position to fail. It is what people do, it is unavoidable. Sometimes we have to let those that err hit rock bottom and we can't let them drag us down with them. Especially when they have shown no sign they are actually willing to help themselves.
Are we going to allow another group of ego-maniacal, selfish, irresponsible, dickwads the chance to screw us again? There will be some self righteous political pandering and phony tough as nails reprimanding from some douchenozzle senator. Sadly, in the end they will get their bail out because we really have turned into a soft, enabling parent.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

weirdness abound

so some weird stuff is going on these days.
An nfl player shot himself in his own leg trying handle a glass of wine, in the latin quarter of NY?. Really, wine plaxico? That is why they say that the wide receiver is a glamour position, you would never see a lineman fumble his piece whilst holding a glass wine.

A woman in Florida invited a homeless man fresh out of jail to stay at her house, after a few drinks and an argument she shot him in the head. ( I tried to add link but I am dumb and can't do it right, there is a link to it on fark.com)
there is not much to say about that, but it happened, all we can do is hope her and her family are why George Bush is president. So why can't we adjust the second amendment again?

Sean Avery said "sloppy seconds" and may get the worst suspension in the history of the league. Meanwhile Claude Lemieux may come back with the San Jose Sharks and Cam Neely is the VP of busted knees and hips. Sticks and Stones doesnot apply to the NHL. But words will always hurt them?

The candidate for VP of the US was in one of the most ironic and hilarious videos of all time: I know you have seen it, it rules gobble gobble, kersplat.

AIG is paying up to a $500,000 (100-300% of their annual salary) retainer fee to keep top executives, yet there have been over 200,000 layoffs in the financial institutions of this country. AIG is giving Americans the finger with one hand and looking for a handout in the other. It must be nice have your cake and smash the rest of it in some poor saps face.
(this doesn't include theresa briggs, she is a good egg and deserves double that, while she is not yet an executive, we hope someday she will be. I am sure would settle for 10% and cake)

Steve Guttenberg is planning to make another Police Academy movie and Three Men and a Little Bride. Hollywood needs a little "change" I think. No word on" Diner 2 the Search for Cleverer Dialogue" or "Cocoon: Ocho"

If A-rod and Skeletor make a baby it's lips would match it's purple skeletor hood.

(beware I am about to steal a joke here, but it is okay, right?)
Did you hear about Elliot Spitzer? He is like a corduroy pillow. That's right he is making headlines. Literally, he is writing headlines for the on-line magazine Slate.

there is more for tomorrow or saturday, I am just getting the juices flowing, plus I have note ssomehwere else I can't find. This was just the obvious stuff.

here's some more for friday...

a teacher in Whit Plains, NY bound two black girls to enlighten the class on some of perils of slavery. The over reaction to some of the racist nonsense in this country disgusts me, but this is different. How fucking dumb can you be? You have to know
that you can't ANY students feet, let alone a black child's. Why not use your own feet as an example if you need to show the class so badly? This teacher should be forced to work cotton fields for free as a punishment. Either that be used for a prison gang rape, you know to enlighten.

OJ is going to jail probably for six years, Meanwhile NIcole and Ron are still doing their " Sleepy Hollow" routine. That's fair.

Their was a report of an obese dog being frozen to the sidewalk overnight in Shboyga,wsconsin, and they didn't even have a picture with the article, not even an artist's rendering, what a let down.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Sorry, I have been slacking

I think I lost my fastball after three weeks, is that pathetic or what?
Hopefully now that thanksgiving is over and a few other issues are resolved I can get back at it. Tomorrow I will have something hopefully it doesn't suck.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

How mush Does Dan Dierdorf hate the Patriots?

24 minutes into the Patriots game and this guy could not hate the Patriots more.
He surely loves Troy Polomalua, but has little nice to say about the Patriots, it is awfully strange.
The Patriots just got a first down on a 4th and 1 but for some reason he gives Pittsburgh credit.
I can't tell if it a Steeler love fest or a PAtriot hate fest either way it is incredibly annoying to have to listen to.
I am going to keep track for the rest of the game and report on the the bias for the rest of the game and come up with answer. One thing is for sure Dan dierdorf eats ass


in the end this game ended up no longer being worth any more effort, Dan diedroff still eats donkey dick. maybe next time i will be able to rip him a new ass hole.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Welcome To Foxboro Home of the Dumbest Fans in Football

If you didn't know why everyone thinks that Pat's fans are dumb, sports radio hammered that point home this morning.
What do you think they should do with Tom Brady next season? I don't know, maybe not decide until the other guy wins a big game, ONCE. This Cassel guy has had 2 good games and they only won 1.
We so easily forget that Tom Brady is the best football they have ever had in NE. He is the hardest worker they have ever had. He has they highest win percentage of any QB ever. He has won 3 Super Bowls. He was won 2 SB MVPs , He has won 1 regular season MVP. He threw 50 TD's in one season. So what are they going to do next season. I don't know, maybe jump the gun a little, give this guy no one trusted 3 weeks ago the keys the franchise and ditch the best football player we have ever had the opportunity to watch in our area ( all do respect to Doug Flutie's one pass).
I love how "Sully from Wheeereva " knows what the Pats should do. I thank God everyday the antenna broke on my car and I don't get AM and don't have to listen to the clowns. The kind of nerve you have that you call a radio show and claim you know what the Sox or Pats or C's should do. Right dude, you know better than guys that are paid millions of dollars and have access to more info about whichever sport, it is mind boggling. How does anyone listen to that crap, let alone participate? Most of the hosts are no better, even the ex-athletes seem to be full of garbage.
At the very least you should compare and contrast Scott Secules, Hugh Millen, and Scott Zolak before they allow you on to comment. If you happen to be either of those 3 guys you should have to admit how much you were over payed during your tenure in New England, or give an honest assessment of the Eugene Chung draft pick.
I think in the last 5 years I have met as many Pat's season tickets holders since 1990 as there were people at Woodstock. If there were so many season ticket holders then, why was every game blacked out until Tuna and Bledsoe showed up? Can you tell me why I was forced to watch maybe 3 games a year on TV until I was 10 years old if the population of NY city had season tickets between the first two Super Bowls? Oh that's right you suck and you wanted to draft Rick Mirer instead of old Drew.
I can admit I didn't have much faith in the Matt Cassel era. I can admit if they win the Super Bowl I still might be in the Tom Brady camp ( I could be wrong about that as well). For now I am going to sit back watch a few more games and hope Matt Cassel does okay, considering he only needs 11 more wins, 37 more TD's, 5 less INT's, 2200 more yards and 1 MVP to match what T.B. did in one season (but let's be honest we will accept half of that). You know what? Maybe I will just shut the F* up and watch the game and not have a clue?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Tony Romo good sumaritan...Jim Norton not so much

I want to hate Tony Romo, I do. I want him to do well for fantasy football purposes. But I want to hate him because he plays for the same team as pacman jones, tank williams, t.o. and the fact the the owner looks like christopher lloyd at the end of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" I just plain hate everything about the Jonestown Cowboys.
But Tony is just a good guy. A few weeks ago after a big victory he was driving home and pulled over and helped an older couple change a flat tire and on the older fella's request didn't tell how how the game went cause guy had tivoed it and wanted to watch at home. Then last week he took some random homeless guy off the street into the movies to see "Role Models". I don't know if they shared popcorn or anything, but it is a nice gesture. It makes you think what kind of girlfriend Jessica Simpson must be if he is catching a flick with a hobo. The guy is a superstar, dates a huge pop star, has everything a guy could want and he still does random acts of kindness.Hhow do you hate a guy like that?
I Feel like we could share a beer someday and I could complain to him about killing my fantasy team for three weeks in 2008, and he'd apologize and we will go the Oasis 25th anniversary tour together or something.....

Now as for JIm Norton he is despicable and I like him anyway. He wrote this book called "I Hate Your Guts" it is funny. Some of it I could have lived without, but I literally laughed out loud a number of times. The book is filled with hateful essays about people who deserve to have a new asshole ripped into them. Well done YImmy. The best parts are when he talks about what a complete tool he was growing up as a young boy in Jersey.

Monday, November 17, 2008

A series of poor decisions

If you know me, you are well aware that this a prime category for a running segment. (this particular episode is thurs. evening to sun. morning )

I will list these things randomly and as not to incriminate myself I will not do these with any particular time frame and perhaps without some detail. They just happened at some point.

Got out of work later than usually, went straight to the Bruins game. because I left later than I had originally planned I took a different route, this was a bad idea for so many reasons.

Parked my car but not before breaking the side mirror and some other minor damage. (why didn't the savage let me park where and how I wanted to is beyond me)

Got off the Highway, drove right past where I needed to turn (where there was no traffic), made the U-turn into bumper to bumper traffic and watched a green light from 3o yards away change 3 times. Stupid big dig what a waste of time that was.

Decided not to cash check and pay for drinks at the Garden with my atm card assuming it would take a day or two to go through.
Upon further review it only cost an extra $117. You know cause I have that kind of money to throw around.

Didn't eat dinner, drank a whole had a pleasant glow at work the next day, along with a stellar attitude.

Tried watching "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" (or whatever that movie is called) a half hour into it. I did end up seeing most of it but the only thing I figured out was that Richard Dreyfuss used to look like Eric Mangini looks now.

Talked to random strangers drunkenly, at the Fours and Hurricane O'reilly's according to my bank statement. (I don't see how they let me in though). Left the dude I went to the B's game with, of course without telling him I was going. Thanks for the ticket bro, but I suck at life, can't wait to do it again. Definitely interrupted the date of a nice young couple from Connecticut.

Took some notes at the Bruins game but can't read them cause I wrote them extremely drunkenly. ( btw I have more of these notes around from random nights, if I find them I will definitely try and translate and post them)

Ate a whole pizza, and hey fat kid why not have some fires too.

Had a round or two of boxing with wifey, I think I won on points.

Went bowling 3 rounds with wifey and some friends, but not until after we had all ready played 4 rounds each before they got there. Plus drinks.
Grand total spent at the bowling alley. $ 160+ no idea really.

Tried to make that money up by entering sushi eating contest. got to the finals, was the favorite got out to a huge lead, almost puked, put it in cruise control and lost. Arrogant American.

Was in a sushi eating contest, just not a good idea, had to re-emphasize that.

Looked for keys in wifey's GIGANTIC pocket book in the pouring ass rain.

Didn't start Housh.

Got robbed by the Referee in the PIttsurgh/ San Diego game ( not my poor decision, but a poor decision none-the-less, that broke my pathetic heart)

there are probably a few more things but I can only remember so much. Anyway that is enough for two and a half days, right?

Monday, November 10, 2008

recommendations

i have two recommendations from the weekend

1. Role Models. This movie was awesome if you don't think it is funny as hell you are taking life way to seriously. See it. Paul Rudd plays a great asshole, mclovin, KISS, Bobby'J Thompson and the l.a.r.ping are all fantastic.

2. Spaced. This is a BBC show with the Simon Pegg ( shawn of the dead, hot fuzz.) If you like those movies and obscure movie references this show is fun as hell and you might enjoy it, however i would say it is not for everyone. check it out when you get a chance. I like it you may not, whatev.

may not have anything this week til like friday/ saturday. but you never know.
peace

Saturday, November 8, 2008

These go to eleven

here we go again, hopefully after this, my blog will be less political.

1. With the election of Barack Obama, I can now watch Cosby Show re-runs and they will seem realistic.

2. Campaign contributions need to be looked at, it seems that rules only make for more creative ways to get candidates dirty money.

3. I just don't think John Daly has hit his rock bottom yet. He is the drunken, white Mike Tyson of golf. The only difference (besides skin color and tattooed face) is instead of pigeons, Daly prefers Hooters.

4.I think war is definitely one time you do not want home field advantage. I like our road record.

5. If you owned a company and that guy applied for a job, would you hire him?

6. In regards to the states that banned gay marriage. Getting married requires a state license. In this country we have a thing called separation of church and state. If your church doesn't allow gay marriage that is fine, but it should not stop others from doing as they wish within your state, if you really think about it, which you clearly have not.

7. This is the longest Patriot's pre-season I can remember they are going to be GREAT once Tommy gets in there.

8. What is going on with Al Davis and the Raiders? It is almost as if he saw Jerry Jones' circus in his rear-view and said "listen up those Cowboys think they can the biggest embarrassment in our league, well it ain't happenin on my watch. I want any idea you can think of that will make America realize we are preeminent awful franchise in the NFL, those Jones boys got nothin on us. Just (don't) win baby." I bet he hires OJ as coach whenever he gets out of prison.

9. Wifey and I watched the Warriors the other night, I can't say enough good things about that movie.

10. I hope the democrats don't mess with the first amendment, that would bug me there are many more important things going on than making sure all sides of politics are being represented on TV and radio.

11. Most importantly I am looking for between 1 and 4 Phish in Hampton tickets for a reasonable price. Don't be greedy just help a brother out.

between 1

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election Night coverage/ coverage and some evening programming

So yesterday was some kind of big day in history and I watched from the couch. This is how it went down. My Election Night Coverage running commentary.

( all times eastern standard)

4:00 Driving home from work stupid, arrogant, phony Jay severen (don't care about the spelling), is calling for impeachment all ready even though no one has been elected yet. Harass him, do what you can DO NOT let this man blah blah blah. " DESPERATION IS A STINKY COLOGNE" jay. I just put my head through a window. Back to Toucher and Rich, very funny.

6:00 Home after a few errands Fox News Channel first election coverage on TV for me today, they are doing a segment on voter fraud, I missed the state they were in. G.O.P. is nervous all ready.

6:01 FNC report, exit polls not always accurate, same with weather reports and fortune tellers. Thank You for that Fox News

6:05 MSNBC Chris Matthews says "Our Democracy is an awesome democracy"

6:06 Ch 7 Boston breaks this hot story Obama doing well in Ma. This just in grass is green.

6:07 NECN In the South End interviewing people in line for voting all have horrific accents and mostly incredibly uninformed.

6:27 ESPN2 Around the Horn Derek Jeter is the worst fielder in the major leagues. Why don't you try fielding with 4 gigantic rings.

6:29 ESPN2 Jackie Mac wins ATH She still looks like Big Bird.

6:30 CNN exit polling shows white people earning more than 100K 52% for Obama. Interesting.

6:31 CNN busts out a graph that look like a Price is Right game. No Barker's Beauties, Solidad O'brien very nice.

6:31 CNN sends it over to the Starbucks panel with Wolf Blitzer. The fat guy in the middle has a Venti Soy Non-fat Latte with a greek tuna wrap and is wearing a beret and an ascot. I have no idea what they are talking about.

6:32 CNN first Polling Report NH&Ind. 1% reporting too close to call, only 130,000,00 more votes to count.

6:34 Not sure what channel, video of Obama with family in tow cutting the huge line at his voting place. Okay everyman wait in line like everyone else your not Prezz yet, my brotha.

6:36 FNC Obama doing well near Philly he's getting the Fresh Prince Vote. Meanwhile McCain performing well in Deer Hunter country. Racist PA

6:38 Headline News Jennifer Hudson look alike argues against Obama with a white lady in a black leather coat and red turtleneck, with a pack of Pall Malls and a box of wine. Headline News: Bizarro Pundits.

6:40 RADIO WBCN Phone calls flooding in with reports for write in votes for Fred Toucher. Freddy T says he is glad people are taking voting seriously.

6:42 CNN Price is Right chart is back with this "shocker" McCain leading among white evangelicals. Not as much as Bush did in '04 (-6%)

6:44 MSNBC Pundit ( not sure which one) "Racism is the only way McCain wins". Sad that that is still possible.

6:45 Wifey gets home we go tot vote, things were wrapping up there. We missed the bake sale.

7:04 FNC First projected winner Vt for Obama and there are now " A thousand bare foot children outside dancin' on my lawn, dancin' on my lawn"

7:05 Georgia too close to call 0% reporting. Awesome report anonymous channel.

7:08 KY for Mcain/ Mccain's wife

7:09 CNN Fat guy at Starbucks Panel wants Obama and congress to lean as left as possible, with no foam.

7:30 Fox Movie Bill Cosby Himself is on and it is still funny as hell. Thanks Bill for breaking things up this evening.

7:45 Kato Kailin's brother doing report about on Fl old timer's voting. having an easier time than '04. Also new "Oops I Crapped My Pants" holds 10% more feces.

7:47 Wifey calls it for Obama

7:58 AMC- Apollo tells Rocky " Ain't gonna be no rematch." Rocky to Apollo "don't want one."

8:00 FNC my first Karl Rove siting, my skin is crawling.

8:00 FNC calls for Obama: Ma, Il, DC, Conn., Maine, NJ, Delaware.
Mcain: OK WV SC YeeeeeeeeeHaw

8:03 FNC All whitees in Sc vote McCAin, all SC blacks Obama UNITY

8:03 CNN Tenn for McCain, Proposition 5 passes forcing Steve Spurrier to stay the hell out of Tenn. that would just be sacrilegious.

8:04 CNN Wolf Blitzer spewing numbers incoherently, he is the anti Rain Man

8:22 FNC despite other networks reports the will not give Pa to Obama. Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

8:23 CNN calls WV for McCain, even though the graph below screen shows Obama with more votes, Whaaaaat?

8;25 HN Soul-less Nancy Grace just getting started on 4 hours of murder Tv, this weeks over exposed corpses: Jen Hudson's family. Eeeeevil Woman.

8:38 NBC some guy in front of a terribly fake museum with awful hair is babbling some non-sense. This set is extremely corny.

8:40 Rocky II still no rematch yet.

9:20 Celtics up big.

9:21 Rocky II rematch is on but Adrian just went into a coma.

9:56 Not sure of channel but report that all the incumbent Governors win. Change we need.

10:08 MSNBC First reports of McCain camp planning concession.

10:21 FNC " The main stream media investigating Sarah Palin as much as Watergate" "Waaaaaaaaaaah!"

10:37 ABC video of Nancy Pelosi with a white button up blouse/ sweater deal. Her rack looks way bigger than I expected.
Clearly this will be a good night for Dems.

10:40 MSNBC one pundits talks about drinking Smirnoff off camera all night. Olberman reacts all douchey, he is a pompous ass.

10:58 Celtics game comes down to free throws BORING.

11:00 FNC calls election for Obama. Fathers, grand fathers and great grand fathers heard rolling in their graves. Right outside my window a pig is flying by.
Really a great day for America.

11:09 MSNBC black guy is emotional, Olberman tries to be all rightous and cry too but he can't cause robots don't make tears.

11:10 FNC so far surprisingly classy.

11:14 FNC biggest shocker so far: Karl Rove: " he could actually be a good president"

11:18 McCain concession speech: very classy, gracious. John McCain is really a great American. Wish him the best I hope we get to see the 2000 McCain in the future.

11:34 NECN corny white reporter interviewing old MLK Jr. friend, corny white guy asks questions with Jay-Z quote inserted in it. Obama-nation, Awesome.

11:35 I check bostonherald.com and the LONE REPUBLICAN's "Silver Lining Article" is incredibly bitchy ( I wanted use the C word here, but I didn't).

11:54 CNN MLK's daughter is being interviewed but I think Cypress Hill and Metallica are having a concert behind her. It may be the worst interview of the evening. It's not news, It's Inaudible.

( mulitple channels showing Jesse Jackson crying, I wonder if it is weird to cry while the president elect balls' are in your hand?)

12:00ish Obama gives solid speech he is ready to lead.

The night ends with The Obama's, Biden's, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Lando, Chewy, and Luke Skywalker celebrating on the Endor Moon with the Ewoks. Oh look there OB-wan ,Yoda and Anakin how did they get there.
( in 25 years George Lucas will CGI the celebrations around the world in).
Cue John Williams.
That was how it went down here.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Big Election 2008

The election is tomorrow, how scary is that. We Americans have a monumental task, not tomorrow when we go to polls, but the days and months the follow. Millions of people are going to vote for candidate A and millions more are going to vote for candidate B, any way you slice it a whole bunch of people are going to be upset. Regardless of who wins and who loses there is no time to complain. We have been in a bit of holding pattern because of the election and we need start fixing the massive issues of the day straight away.
The whole world is affected by what happens at the polls tomorrow. For quite some time America has been the lead dog. It's is us who other countries look at in good times and in bad times. So what do we do once our next president is elected. I have terrible feeling that it is not going to be the right thing. We have got stop complaining and start fixing. Arguing after Tuesday is not going to keep families in their homes or people in their jobs. Calling the talking heads on the radio shows is not going to help catch Bin Laden or figure an effective strategy for pulling out of Iraq.
We have to be proud enough as country to say this is who we selected to lead us from these tougher past few months back in to the light. The light that all people look to, here in the U.S. and abroad. If we are "The Land of Opportunity" let's prove it. There is not a better opportunity now in these coming weeks and months. Whether it's won by a grizzled old veteran, former P.O.W., who has spent decades in the Senate, or a young well spoken lawyer raised by a single mother who has been a community organizer in gigantic city and a Junior Senator, we must follow. Selecting either of these men is just the first step in a long process of rediscovering what is great about our country. The time of negativity, finger pointing or anything else that prevents us from becoming the leader in the 21st century has past. We need solutions, we need more than bi-partisanship, we need to come together as a great country and learn from the the last eight years and be better. We are going to have a new president in January, you might not like him but that should not stop you from being a good American and helping solve the current problems of the day.
We have to do it now because if we do not CNN starts it's 2012 election coverage in 13 weeks.

Roger Clemens halloffamer

I saw today that a judge was probably going to throw out the defamation suit against the trainer ( I forget his name) who gave the FBI Clemens' name. On the side of the story was the rocket's fat head wearing a Yankee cap. I was so happy to see that. When I was a kid I loved Rog, in my eyes he was the best. It was tough to see him go. It's always tough to see your favorite players move on, especially when you are younger. But he left for $100000000000000000000000000000, can't really blame him.
I am glad he was successful after he left, I just wish it wasn't with the Yankees. Now there is this cloud over that part of his career. He is a liar, a cheater and an asshole now. Now every time his name is brought up it has a negative connotation with it, and happily, an NY on his cap. I hope he gets into the Hall of Fame some day. He was one the best pitchers ever. I just hope that when he gets in it with that same NY on his cap. I bet that is the hat he wants to wear in there anyhow. It is kind of weird he doesn't get to choose. But that is a different story.
I don't want that scum-bag associated with the Red Sox anymore. He did not want to be here when he left, he wouldn't have been so out of shape if he did. He was complacent the last few years here, he didn't deserve a payday from the Sox. He got what he wanted and that was a huge contract. He for sure earned his money (in baseball terms, not real life of course). He left his uniform here, no one has put on the number 21 for the Sox since then. I say put Rog in the Hall of Fame with that awful Yankee cap on and we'll give the next young Red Sox the # 21. Let's move on from Clemens he has surely moved on from us.
It is not that Teddy, Yaz or Fisk are the best guys ever, but I would just feel dirty accepting the rocket up there with the rest of our Red Sox great. We can acknowledge he had a pretty good run here, but he moved on so should we. ( Now let's hope LA gives manny a fat check cuase I don't want to give all our future Hall of Famers to the Yankees)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

These go to 11

1. Rally towels are dumb but they top cowbells every time, way to go Phillies Cowbells are the worst followed by thundersticks, then pink hats, then rally towels. The best thing about Philly winning is this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZqhmyoO8FE

2. Last week at Rusconi house one of his room-mates introduced us to tom brady's website where lunatics leave him creepy messages: tombrady.com

you have to check the messages out, people are weird.

3. More on TB, his ex chick named his kid John Edward Thomas (JET) Moynahan. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

4. How dumb are politicol polls/ at one point during the week obama had drawn even in PA then on another poll he was down by 7% and Yet another poll he was running third to Mcain, second place was a Ham sandwich.

5. What does it take to be a pundit? I get some ex -pols are pundits, but it seems like anyone can be one. Joe the plumber is one now and all he did is ask one question. I think I am pundit cause I have a blog that has used the words obama and mccain. put me on cnn, i think they have room for me on their third row of bleacher seat pundits.

6. As a pundit I think it is clear that had Hillary won the primary, Mccain would have forfeited by now.

7. Is it possible to get Phish in Hampton Tickets for face value? If so email me I could use between one and four. ( you will see this one again and again, btw)

8. No on 1, Yes on 2 , Wtfc on 3 (ma only)

9. Future candidates should take notice: publicity stunts don't work as VP selections, they get shredded on SNL.

10. I like having a beard but I am always paranoid I have food stuck in it.

11. There only 24 North American cities that should be allowed to have NHL teams: Boston, NY, Philly, Chicago, Detroit, Denver, Minn. ( iknow it's a state), Buffalo, Pittsburgh, StLouis. Dallas NJ and dc can fight for the last 2spots
in Canada Montreal, Quebec,Toronto, Calgary Vancouver, Ottawa, Edmonton,Winnipeg,Saskatchawan Halifax and any one or two more I am not so familiar with Canada.
Too many teams in places that don't make sense, when I think hockey I think Miami and LA right


Friday, October 24, 2008

Dear Food,

Dear Food,
I keep trying to end this thing between us, yet you keep showing up everywhere I go. It was okay at first when we were young and just getting started, we had an open relationship then. You let me spend time with Exercise and Fast Metabolism and still come back and enjoy perhaps more of you than ever.
Then things got weird between us you weren't around as much and I started hanging out with Sweet Lady Booze and her slutty friend Drugs. Everything got so crazy then, but after all that we were back together ,that whore Drugs was gone and we were spending more time together than ever.
Now we have this weird love triangle: me, you and Sweet Booze. This situation could get lethal. My heart is literally telling me I should turn my back on both of you . I know that won't happen, can't happen. You have always been so good to me Food.
Maybe you could just back off for a little while. I know it's tough with the holidays coming up but I think it's time. To be honest with you Exercise has been trying to get back in my graces and it might be time to make things right between us. As long as I promise not spend so much time with you Food, Exercise told me we could still see each other occasionally.
We've been through so much together, growing up you been there at holidays, birthdays, funerals, graduations you were always there with the utmost support. You've been at sporting events, movies, bars and you are always there after a late night of drinking to guide me home. That maybe be the best thing about you Food.
But this has all got to stop now. My knees hurt, my pants fit all weird, everyone keeps telling me you are no good for me anymore. Maybe they are all just jealous of what we've had together. Then again maybe they are right.
Hopefully someday we can patch things up, see eye to eye and make us both happy. For now i bid adieu Food. So long.
Affectionately Yours,
Greg

Monday, October 20, 2008

B.H. Obama Secret Terrorist and P.OT.US.

How many times have you heard this the last year? I have heard people I had considered smart say that or say "he seems smart, but i just don't trust him".

Ok, let's get out our crystal ball and look into the future. Let's say BHO wins the election. Let's also say all these people who think O is a terrrist, sorry secret terrrrrist are right. What would happen if smooth talking Obama tricks 300million people here and millions more abroad? What will become of us, the End of Days? Would he be like Emperor Palpitine and have the Marines turn against the Army like the new old storm troopers in Revenge of the Sith? Could our soldiers probably mostly christian be engaged in a battle in Afghanistan and the secret muslim edict to kill all jedi( Army) is enacted, is this remotely possible?
So we'll look further into the crystal ball now and see S.T.B.H.O.P.O.T.U.S. and now he's ordered the marines to attack the army and we here back home find out in about 2 minutes because CNN or Fox News or someone reports in between reporting on Anna Nicole Smith's kid's inheritance. What in the world do we do? How is it possible that this slippery fellow duped us? The true Americans, the ones who waged war to separate from Union oh so many years ago, enact their second amendment rights and march to the White House like STBHO is Frankenstein. Right?
If somehow this guy has pulled the wool over everyone's eyes, we all would sit around and do nothing? Not likely. Even if the
guy is a just a plain old muslim I am sure it will ruffle some rednecks feathers. Alabama man would grab his rifle and 6 pack of PBR tall boys and go huntin. So, said hillbilly does his thing and if my knowledge of the constitution suits me then Joe Biden becomes president. Does that mean JoeB. is also a secret mussy terrrrist? If I were the ever clever BHOST wouldn't my second in command be at least some sort of muslim? Not some corny white dude.
Anyway doesn't this all seem like a stretch? If BO is a S.T. I think we will be able to handle it. If he is just a bad president we can handle 4 years of that. Just give me a break with the non-sense....PLEASE



FOR CLARIFICATION- S=secret T=terrorist B=Barack H=Hussein O=0BAMA/ P=PRESIDENT O=OF T=THE U=UNITED S=STATES (potus)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Fear, Speculation, Voyeurism Welcome to your Six O'clock News

Have you adjusted to the 24 hour news cycle, basic cable and the internet? Technology has given us wonderful opportunity, we can access information in a matter of seconds. Even if that information is as accurate as David Patterson shooting free throws. Television, radio and the other forms of media are funneling "news" to us at an alarming rate of semi-accuracy. There are in my mind three types of "news" now. They are Fear Speculation And Voyeurism as you may have seen in the title. Let's break it down Jaworski style.

FEAR....
The news, especially the traditional newscast runs advertisements all day about toys that could kill your kid, cars that could kill you, perverts living in your living room and things of this nature. If this is really news then tell me this stuff now, I don't want to wait until 11 pm. Opie and Anthony talk about this all the time, and they are actually right, if something is that dangerous don't try get ratings just report the information. Channel 7 in Boston says they have the "most compelling newscast". Really the most compelling? Doesn't the news just tell what is happening or has happened? What are the other channels reporting, turtle races and county fairs? I don't understand, it seems flipping around at 11 pm the news is generally the same, 7 seems to be the same 4 and 5.
The other thing they do is hype stuff up like shark attacks or bears, or rip-tides. The things that people are all ready aware of. Oh wow sharks are dangerous, your kidding? People have this weird innate attachment to fear, and the news preys on it. I think they can even dictate the Stock Market with way they report on it's volatility. It must break their heart when hurricanes don't wipe out a city or the market goes up 500 points.

Speculation:
This too involves the stock market, and sports reporting mostly. Because pretty much anyone can get pretty much any information that sportcenter or espnews or moneymarket gives us off the internet. These channels now have so many hours of programming prognosticating instead of reporting. We have to listen sports reporters yell over each other about why Team A will beat Team B in Game C that isn't happening for 3 weeks. Then you flip over to cable news channels and some guy is yelling about how this option will rebound or this other will crash and really not have to be accountable for it at all. I just want these people to tell me what HAS happened and WHY. Not what WILL happen based on baseball games from 1983 or some trend during the depression.

Voyeurism:..
The worst, the basic channels now spend as much time if not more reporting on famous people. We have become a nation of obsessed, jealous, nosey idiots. Why does anyone care if Britney Spears crapped her pants in a Wal Mart? Is it to be in on the joke? Is it because we love to build someone up just so we can see that person fumble it all away? Anna Nicole Smith had ten times more press for her death than President Ford had for his just a few weeks later. This freak-show really is what we couldn't take ourselves from the idiot box for. The TV channels are partly to blame for this, playing off this entertainment as news. But it is just as much our own fault for being slave to celebrity.


Long story short I just want to put on the news and have someone shoot me straight, tell me how it is. I don't want compelling, intriguing or first. I want short, sweet, relevant and accurate. Not necessarily in that order.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

These go to Eleven

My first "running segment' 11 nuggets for this week that are likely irrelevant:

1. Ron Perlman is the creepiest guy on TV. He may be the missing link.

2. Heroes has way to much stuff going on. Tv shouldn't be a chore. It's dead to me.

3. Prison Break and Son's of Anarchy are decent shows, but they have cringe-worthy writing occasionally.

4. Danny Ainge may be the best ever at getting quality ball players in the second round of the draft. ( Gomes, Davis, Powe, Walker,)

5. I have never once heard anyone say anything positive about Tim Mcarver as a broadcaster.

6.If you happen to watch TBS's pre/postgame shows keep track of how often Cal Ripken says "What have ya" , "somethin like this".

7.If Texas and Florida win this weekend the BCS takes another punch in the kidney.

8. After watching twenty minutes of the first pre-season game, I can say with confidence the Celtics look prepared to defend their title. ( did you see how they reacted to Bill Walker's dunk on Theo Ratliff's expiring career?)

9. Hopefully Josh Beckett was just knocking the rust off against the Angels last week, they don't have much of a chance if he pitches like Dice-K again.

10. Isn't it strange that the Daily Show as skewered as it is comes off as the most fair and balanced news program? (It might be because of the 24 hour fear cycle)

11. How pissed must John McCain be about getting his ass handed to him by "That One" in the polls right now and losing to W. in 2000? Maybe, it just wasn't meant to be Johnny.
11a. ( bonus time) Maverick said he knew how to get Bin Laden at the debate. If this is true why has kept it to himself for the last seven years?

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Oversight Commitee

To me seeing Waxman yesterday, that rat faced, little fellow on the House Oversight Committee reminded me that our government can work. They can definitely pull us out of the funk we have gotten ourselves into. After all they kind of almost helped clean up that little boy's game that grown men play. For sure they have spent a number of days representing the great states that make up this country by finding out how many people jose canseco did steroids with. It was so obvious that there was nothing more important going on, millionaires were swinging a piece of wood into a piece leather. They were on TV 162 days a year, keeping Americans distracted while Multi-millionaires and Billionaires were hoarding billions and trillions of dollars and working on the honor system, lying and screwing pretty much the entire country. Thank God congress took time to figure out if Sammy Sosa's homeruns are legit, it's important, baseball is in the fabric of our country. Baseball needed to be regulated then, not banks and Wall Street. After all money and power have never been involved in corruption.
There is no doubt Roger Clemens is a scum-bag, but what does that make everyone else?

Champagne Kisses and Hom0-Erotic Celebrations

I watched a lot of baseball this weekend. I watch a lot baseball period, and I do not understand what, when or why baseball celebrations have become so ridiculous. Do these guys just want run around in the underwear spraying beer and champagne on each other? Is that the point of the season? To act like their fraternity is having a gay slumber party night.
They look absolutely foolish. This year the Phillies, Dodgers, Rays, and Red Sox all have had two Champagne celebrations already and we haven't even started The Conference Championships yet. As much as I hate to say it I don't recall the Yankees acting like such asses when there are eight more games to win. Football, basketball and hockey generally do not over-celebrate after every stepping stone ( that's all it is, by the way) is reached. Why has baseball adopted this? They have three days off, go to a bar, get a few hotel rooms, act like you've been there before. Don't spray champagne and beer on your second baseman like he's the stuck up ho at the end of the Dr. Dre's "Nothin but a G thing" video.
Champagne should be sprayed under two circumstances in regards to sports (this actually goes for the gatorade bath too, I'm looking at you here football): winning the "world" championship, as in there are no more games to be played, all foes have been bested, you alone stand atop the mountain and are recognized as your sports supreme organization. Second, and this should be used incredibly rarely, your pathetic franchise has got their shit together after some astoundingly long period of futility (e.g The Rays making the play-offs this year, Red Sox finally beating the Yankees). That is it, there can be no other acceptable circumstance. Anything more is obnoxious and somewhat homo-erotic. They might as well run around and slap each others asses with towels during their "little parties".
Anyway, Go Red Sox....

Friday, October 3, 2008

Review of the review of the debate

Because I can not give a fair review of the debate last night, I am gonna give a review of the media's review of the debate.
The Boston Herald has roughly four articles on the evening proceedings and shockingly the"right winger" Howie Carr thought Joe Biden blew, Peter Gelzinis thought Sarah blew it with her "backwoodsiness" , then two somewhat neutral articles.
On NBC right after the debate I assume Tom Brokaw mumbled questions about the debate at a few panel members and they ( your not gonna believe this) were split on how it went down. Republicans thought Mrs P. knocked it out of the park. The Democratic panel members thought Joe was on point with facts and strong talking points.
CBS ( decidedly liberal ) thought Biden was really good, Palin, eh, evasive on some of the questions. Fox News ( decidedly not liberal) had Greta Stroke-face on and they thought Sarah Palin could be the first queen of America.
Dialy Kos basically thinks McCain would be better off running with Trigg Palin. michelle malkin thought sarah looked like the real deal and the senator looked tired(?).
and so on and so forth...
What's the point of having 50,000 opinions about what we just watched? Are we that dumb that we need to watch a wrap up show to tell us what we just heard? Also, what's the point of going on TV or Newspaper with your "analysis" of the debate when it's just not an honest assessment what jut happened? Why not just have them put your face next a donkey or elephant then pull a "quote" or two out of a hat and slap that person's name to it? It would basically have the same effect wouldn't it?
What's the point? The media stinks! And I can't write a fair assessment of the debate because one candidate makes my brain swell.

btw, you might be thinking why did you watch/ read all these reviews?
To be honest I don't know. I guess I think it's amazing that millions of people can watch the same exact thing and have such an incredibly different perspective on what they saw, or heard in this case. When did political reporting become a Picasso?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Uninformed Douche

Oh what's that you say, really? really? where did you hear this? what dude? come on? do have any idea how much of an ass you sound like?

eye roll, eye roll, scoff scoff , gasp.



This is every Tuesday night when I go to work at Pat's in Dorchester. This friggin guy talks and talks and talks about nothing. I call him John-i-pedia because if you are talking to anyone in a 25 foot radius he chimes with his uninformed thoughts on everything. Loudly of course, and completely non-sensical. It's almost as if he thinks all worldly ideas are birthed from his dumb fucking brain and everyone must take sub shops guys word as gospel. I cringe, get the douchiest douche chills every time he opens his mouth. He is the quintessential jack-ass, this guy doesn't know jack shit. He just spouts off on any and everything, filling the long dull hours with so much nonsense you want to drive a railroad spike into your own skull.



He may be the biggest loser I have ever met. The guy is 41 lives by himself in literally a room he rents. He "jams out" by himself, but only after he "smokes some weed". He doesn't watch tv, yet he has seen every movie and watched every tv show. He drives me nuts, I hate him. I hope he reads this some day soon and decides to brush his teeth with a 9mm. Do you see this john YOU ARE A PUD!

Tell me I am not the only with a John, please.

Monday, September 22, 2008

The brother-hood of the stupid ass pants

So there is this wedding this weekend and I have been invited to be a part of. As a groomsmen we were asked to buy these god-damn jcrew pants. These pants, they suck, j crew doesn't even make pants I fit in. I am gonna look like an big time ass. Regardless of how much weight I loose jcrew makes stupid pants, that are for teeny, tiny people. Now I know I am not as thin as I used to be be these f'en pants are ridiculous. I am losing sleep over what an idiot I am going to look like. Urgh Why can't we just wear normal pants? god damn hippies, ech! What can I do, seriously anyone what can I do I am open to any and all suggestions.



3 other things that annoy me



1. fashion critics that dress like flamboyant hypocrites. Seriously how do comb your 1980's bon jovi hair over, wear skin tight suit pants with some kaweer t-shirt under and have the nerve to say someone else looks bad. seriously?



2. the New York JETS, honestly you killed my fantasy football league this week... in one half! I didn't buy the britfave hype, but you can't even compete for just one week? keep sucking gang green, no fans deserve it more.



3. I love all Jason Varitek stands for as far as a Red Sox player, but he's finished, and Tito there are 50,000 people on the bench, use a pinch hitter for the bottom four hitters in your line-up, some of these guys aren't what they used to be. You are not gonna win this fall with 3 0r 4 guys in the order batting between .215 and .275. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The man with no shame vs. The man with no name


So while watching television the other day, I saw an advertisement for a movie about WWII starring black people, directed by Spike Lee. After I saw this I realized what that weaselly, attention whore was up to. During the last year or so, Spike has more or less accused The great, Oscar winning director Clint Eastwood of racism or being racist or racist racism or not giving the black man his due for their services during WWII.
Now, is Clint Eastwood a racist? Maybe, but I don't recall ever hearing anything about him in that regard before. Was his movie accurate? By most accounts the story was pretty accurate.Some things may have been embellished but it is a film and in the world of CGI, extra splosions keep the audiences attention in a backwards kind of way.By no means had Clint Michael Bay'd this film.This was a story about a few particular soldiers and a specific event in history.
Looking back at the HBO series BAND OF BROTHERS, I don't remember very many black guys in that, I am sure there were but, I just do not remember. I definitely do know that Spike didn't accuse Tom Hanks or anyone involved with that mini-series of racism. I am sure we would have heard from Spike had he something going on at the time and needed a little heat coming his way.
To be honest with you I like some of Spike Lee's movies, not so much his acting. I feel very similar about Clint actually. I didn't even like FLAGS.I may very well like MIRACLE at ST. ANNA. But to piggy-back shamelessly on a well regarded movie for your own gain, should be beneath Spike at this point. He is likely the pre-imminent black director at is point and has made quality films, not just movies, actual films with actual content, that people connect with. Let your body of work speak for itself and leave the race issue out.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Where have you gone John McCain?

Does anyone know where this guy went?
I don't recall a V.P. getting so much attention in my 27 years. Sarah Palin is getting the 2004 Obama treatment, I believe. She has come from nowhere, no one knows who she is, or anything about. She is not an old white man and nobody knows how to criticize HER without sounding sexist, chauvinistic, ignorant or some other word that describes someone's honest opinion incorrectly.She has burst onto the scene and made quite an impression on the people in the states that should have tried harder during the civil war.
Soon, hopefully sooner, her appeal will fade away, it always happens everyones stock drops. She seems to have plenty of strange stuff going on and soon the Palin bump will level out. Fear not.
More importantly when is Sen. McCain going to re-appear ? What happened to this guy, isn't he a supposed to be a maverick? I don't re-call anything fresh coming from him since, well I don't know when. In the coming weeks I want to hear more from He and OBAMA. They need to be more forthcoming with their plans for the next four years ( I don't see 8 for either) and stop with the he does this or he does not do that. I want to hear I will do this or we will do that. This is my plan, this is my my vision.
We get it you disagree, one is democrat, one is republican, did anyone think you were going to see eye to eye or compliment something the other has done? Someone needs to start making sense, I would hate to waste my vote on N>alph (vote)Raider. Especially you MAVERICK.

Maiden Voyage

Welcome,
At the behest of miss bridget madden http://dreamingbridge.blogspot.com/I have created this here blog.
We are going to be covering all sorts of topics here, it will be based mostly on sport, un-educated political ideas, irreverence, cynicism, sarcasm, deep dark horrific humor, and other such things. If you get offended may I suggest somewhere else. I will try and keep it somewhat reasonable but who knows. Once I find out how to do fancy stuff like links and pictures and what-have-ya I will but for now just rambling. So without further ado......