Santa flew over the cuckoos nest

Santa Claus has multiple personality disorder. It's a fact, according to wikipedia and google the man known as Santa Claus has three separate distinctly different "personas" . Santa ,Kris Kringle and St, Nicholas. Be careful who you let your kids get there picture with at the mall.
First Santa Claus: Santa Claus is a married gentleman. He is quite rotund, red cheeks, wears a red suit. He flies in a sleigh with reindeer. He is from the North Pole, but he is Hollywood. Quite the celebrity Santa does mall tours. He is the the Britney Spears of Christmas. Some claim he has "sold Christmas out", commercialized it. He is the demon of the hard core religious. Single handedly is killing Christmas.
Others claim him to be a jolly fat man, spreading christmas cheer. I think this Christmas icon means well, but some serious folks blame him for things that are out his control. His alter ego Kris Kringle though....><
Kris Kringle: is a Nazi he is of German upbringing. In his "native tongue he is called Christkind. He is cherubic, with wings, blond hair, probably blue eyes. During the 30's and early 40's after Goerbles and Gehringh he was right there with Hitler. Sure he looks innocent ( in his own mind) but do we really trust the Germans yet? Plus he is self hating, he can't stand Santa or St. NIck.

Finally St Nicholas according to the report is Turkish. He originally gifted three young girls with a dowry so they would not be prostitutes. He is a reverse pimp sort of. He also is the patron saint of shipwrecked or drowning mariners. That is a strange combination, right? He truly hates Santa, even more than the Nazi. He is not very "jolly" looking though similar to "Santa". To me he kind of looks like the neighbor in Home Alone.> So if you happen to come across Father Christmas this holiday season. Make sure he is jolly and HOHOHOing. Make sure he doesn't click his boot heels, and doesn't drag ice melt in garbage pale and isn't trying to get whores off the street. If he is doing any of the last three things. Go to a different mall.

Consider the Source

Something occurred to me while "surfing the web" earlier. I don't always put what I am reading, watching or listening to in the correct perspective. Perhaps you are very aware of this and I am a dope. But, I am willing to bet that because of repetition, or rushing through life or some other small reason you just kind of forget sometimes.
With all the news channels, the vastness of the internet (inter- tubes) or barrage of talk radio it is quite easy to get facts, opinions, here-say, and out right stupidity easily mixed up if you aren't paying close enough attention. Especially with the internet, jumping from link to link you are so far removed from what you are actually putting in your head you may not even notice what you are reading is just some dope's obscure, uninformed,biased or ignorant opinion. Now, it may not be, it may in fact be true straight down the last letter.
How to tell what's what, I can't tell you. Today while reading something, I was exasperated, stopped and thought "Is this a joke?" Why I am getting so upset about this? I know nothing about the person who wrote this article or the slant of the on-line newspaper it came from. Maybe this is the Howie Carr of Tampa. I just clicked a link and there I was taking in "information" from a source I knew absolutely nothing about. Good thing I didn't call up talk radio and repeat it as fact. Who knows how bad I would have butchered the dumb columnists opinion. Or was it a a report, ah jees I just don't know.
I have written in the past of the difference between "the news" and "news channels". Pundits, People of opinion on television very rarely state all the facts. The give excerpts of situations to prove they are right when there is not necessarily a right or wrong. Being ruder or yelling louder does not make up for lack of substance. Abusing a counterpart on TV does not make you right, it doesn't make you wrong. It just makes those that are watching believe what the louder person is saying seem a little more factual. Which is tricky. A good rule to follows is if you are conservative; liberal pundits are whiny, morons. If you're a liberal, conservative pundits are @$$100%$. Then disregard everything you have just heard, DO NOT REPEAT IT.
Back as a younger fellow I recall playing this outrageous game TELEPHONE. TELEPHONE is played by whispering something to the person next to you, that person whispers to the person next to them, and they pass it along in the same manner. The thing is it can't be repeated, so once it finally gets to the last person they say out loud what they think they heard. Nine times out of ten or more the original phrase is no wheres close to being what the first person had said. Awesome game, right? ( it actually was once in a while, really) Anyway, the "TELEPHONE" principle applies to talk radio because people are dumb and take what they hear as fact . They need to sound smart so they call up a talk show, WRITE IT IN THEIR BLOG or add a comment at the end of an article as if what they read earlier, remembered 40% of is in fact one the great truths of this world.
Later on I was reading ESPN.com and an article there had something about the government can be a charitable write off and how it affects your tax return. I was taking it seriously for a moment and all of a sudden I was all "why would I take tax info from ESPN"? Seriously, I would not be surprised ( especially considering the audience) if some meat head goes out this weekend and shares his superior ESPN.com education with his pals. When Opie and Anthony got fired way back when for the "mayor prank" ( they had announced on Aprils Fool's Day that the mayor of Boston had died in car crash in Florida) I recall Anthony saying at some point afterwards " You don't go to CNN for dick jokes; don't come to Opie and Anthony for breaking news". Although he is a Nazi sympathiser he was actually right about that. If you a reading a blog it's here-say. If you are listening to talk radio that person might not even have a job. Don't confuse columnists opinions with newspaper reports. The comments section of on -line article is only there for you to see how stupid some people actually are.
If I were to write an entry on Santa Claus suffering from multiple personalities, would you take as fact? I hope so.

The drive thru and proper drive thru procedure

The point of the drive thru is to get what you need quickly. If everything goes perfectly it should take just a few minutes.
Unless of course it's a 24 hour drive thru and everyone is hammered and there are a ton of people in line. Then and only then is it acceptable to wait fifteen minutes.
I am sure I could have gone in this morning to get my coffee. Yet I decided to try the drive thru line because there were only six cars in line, stupid me. Half an hour later I was still waiting but because of the way the line is designed, I am now trapped in line. So I decided to put on Christmas music and tried to avoid road rage while for intents and purposes being parked. What do we do about this? I shouldn't have to go in, I have a small order specifically designed for the drive thru, get in, get out!
If you have anything more than a coffee and either muffin, bagel or donut go inside. You are slowing down this beautiful idea. The drive thru is essentially communism, a great idea that can't work out because certain people don't use it properly. If you have to have a breakfast sandwich go inside and wait in line you clearly don't care how long it takes. Don't hold up people with things to do and places to see.
Some of the worst people on Earth are the people who give a laundry list of sandwiches, nuggets, cokes, diet cokes, substitutions,etc, etc. Honestly are you that much of dick head that you won't bring your army of shit machines into BK? Then after the staff cooks dinner in 12 minutes for gaggle of nose pickers while you sit in your SUV you have the nerve to complain and hold the line up further. How is that the rest of our fault, that you can't get these ass hole kids to behave inside a shitty restaurant? Maybe close your legs if you can't handle it properly, all I want is a fucken Double Cheese burger and a Coke.
If you have more than one kid with you, you are not doing anything quickly, fast food does not apply to you. You have to suck it up and put on your parent hat and go inside and let us movers and shaker get what we need and fast. We don't have any anchors slowing us down. We don't need yours slowing us down too.
So just to review:
1. No more than 2 to 3 items at a time in the drive thru (unless it' after last call)

2. If you need to be a douche and complain about fast food. GO INSIDE.

3. Bring your shit machines inside, all the germs in there are probably good for them and it is a nice exercise in parenting. Fast food does not apply to you.

4. Use common sense and decency. The people working these lines probably aren't Rhode's Scholars, make things as easy for them as possible. Do Not complain about a 99 cent cheeseburger, it is 99 cents. If allergies are involved explain it nicely inside, don't blame the employees because you are five minutes behind, they didn't shit in your kids pants your kid did.

5. Have your money ready, pay attention to the cars in front of you, don't over react to a love tap. 0 miles an hours is at most trading some paint.

6. I think that is it. But I reserve the right to edit.

Sorry if you think the drive thru exists for you to not have to shuffle your kids in it out of places, it doesn't. It is for us non-breeding, important people, I am pretty sure it is in The Constitution.