The Uninformed Douche

Oh what's that you say, really? really? where did you hear this? what dude? come on? do have any idea how much of an ass you sound like?

eye roll, eye roll, scoff scoff , gasp.



This is every Tuesday night when I go to work at Pat's in Dorchester. This friggin guy talks and talks and talks about nothing. I call him John-i-pedia because if you are talking to anyone in a 25 foot radius he chimes with his uninformed thoughts on everything. Loudly of course, and completely non-sensical. It's almost as if he thinks all worldly ideas are birthed from his dumb fucking brain and everyone must take sub shops guys word as gospel. I cringe, get the douchiest douche chills every time he opens his mouth. He is the quintessential jack-ass, this guy doesn't know jack shit. He just spouts off on any and everything, filling the long dull hours with so much nonsense you want to drive a railroad spike into your own skull.



He may be the biggest loser I have ever met. The guy is 41 lives by himself in literally a room he rents. He "jams out" by himself, but only after he "smokes some weed". He doesn't watch tv, yet he has seen every movie and watched every tv show. He drives me nuts, I hate him. I hope he reads this some day soon and decides to brush his teeth with a 9mm. Do you see this john YOU ARE A PUD!

Tell me I am not the only with a John, please.

The brother-hood of the stupid ass pants

So there is this wedding this weekend and I have been invited to be a part of. As a groomsmen we were asked to buy these god-damn jcrew pants. These pants, they suck, j crew doesn't even make pants I fit in. I am gonna look like an big time ass. Regardless of how much weight I loose jcrew makes stupid pants, that are for teeny, tiny people. Now I know I am not as thin as I used to be be these f'en pants are ridiculous. I am losing sleep over what an idiot I am going to look like. Urgh Why can't we just wear normal pants? god damn hippies, ech! What can I do, seriously anyone what can I do I am open to any and all suggestions.



3 other things that annoy me



1. fashion critics that dress like flamboyant hypocrites. Seriously how do comb your 1980's bon jovi hair over, wear skin tight suit pants with some kaweer t-shirt under and have the nerve to say someone else looks bad. seriously?



2. the New York JETS, honestly you killed my fantasy football league this week... in one half! I didn't buy the britfave hype, but you can't even compete for just one week? keep sucking gang green, no fans deserve it more.



3. I love all Jason Varitek stands for as far as a Red Sox player, but he's finished, and Tito there are 50,000 people on the bench, use a pinch hitter for the bottom four hitters in your line-up, some of these guys aren't what they used to be. You are not gonna win this fall with 3 0r 4 guys in the order batting between .215 and .275. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.